lacuna

the dinner is over
the dishes done
all the welcome chaos
of family and friends
has quieted
there is a pause
ever shorter
before the race
to the next holiday
begins


©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/25/09

i breathe you in and
your essence permeates me
intoxicating

©2009-Art Belliveau

dysphoria supreme

flowing like
wet cement
covering me
filling me
then hardening
leaving me
unable to move
or breathe
or call out for help
dysphoria supreme

©2009-Art Belliveau

Bernoulli’s Principle (or Love?)

Bernoulli’s Principle (or Love?)

i hardly understand you
yet you are there
my lack of understanding
has no impact upon your reality
a disbelief in you
would not make you disappear
although invisible
your effect is profound
you make flight possible
and even i
can see and understand
that much

©2009-Art Belliveau

you and i

you and i
we are so far apart
in space
in age
in experience

yet

i have never felt
(not even once)
the closeness i feel
with you

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/21/09

from 900 miles
i still feel you touch my soul
you are always near

©2009-Art Belliveau

What I Need

To teach writing
      I need your trust
As I lead you away from
      habits built up over years
Trust in the silly exercises
      designed to break you free
Trust in the techniques of
      revision and editing I teach

Most of all--
      and this is key--
I need you to trust
      my good intentions
And believe I will not lead you--
      purposely--
astray.

©2009-Art Belliveau

wandering around in philadelphia

wandering
no set destination
in a city i don’t know
a city
steeped in history
a city
that birthed a nation
looking
seeing the modern
instead of the historic
seeing statues
impressive and looming
famous
and not
the pervasive energy of
manhattan
is lacking here
the energy is less manic
more staid
as befits a place
that birthed a nation

©2009-Art Belliveau

ungilded wings

as a child
i took my first plane ride
it was not a happy time
we were going to a funeral
my mother and i
her grandmother’s
a woman i can barely
rmember now

it was so formal
we dressed our best
we got there shortly before takeoff
no security checks
no TSA
that was in the future
just an unavoidable expense
to get us there
on time

no more romance
in flying today
it has become
common
as most experiences do
over forty years
of repetition

and even though
the flight i take now
is not to such a sad occasion
the trip is made sadder
by all the people
reading papers
sleeping
never once trying to see
the now familiar sight
of the top side of clouds

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/17/09

waiting's difficult
is it really possible?
anticipation

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/16/09

i know you are there
even when i can't see you
knowing that warms me

©2009-Art Belliveau

haiku 11/15/09

under a vast sky
in the shade of giant oaks
a single leaf blows

©2009-Art Belliveau

Irony

here is an irony
           that could not be made up
in the bookstore
           next to the coffee shop
                with its pastries and
                high calorie additions to
                a simple cup of coffee
I see all the books
           I would never want to read
on various and miraculous ways
           to lose weight
their bright eye-catching colors
           calling out for attention
over the noise of grinding coffee
           and clanking plates

©2009-Art Belliveau

Hey, You

Hey, you
I hope you're there
           reading my words
           hearing my voice
remembering our times together
           more with fondness than regret
because
no matter how many
           or how few
will read this poem
you're the one I'm writing this for
you're the one I want to touch
           deep inside
and it would be terrible if you never read it
           never knew
I wrote another poem
           for you

©2009-Art Belliveau

drowning 11/13/09

i have stayed afloat
on the rising tides
of life’s misfortunes

i have surfed
on the tsunamis
of unforseen calamities

so why is it i drown
when you shed
a single tear?

©2009-Art Belliveau

ground fire 11/12/09

after
so many years
of knowing you
loving you

you might think
the fiery passions
of my love would
threaten
to flicker out

but you would be wrong

apparently
this passion is
a ground fire

smoldering
beneath the surface
all-consuming

awaiting its chance
to burn through
and reignite
the inferno

©2009-Art Belliveau

the crush 11/11/09

the crush
 
i never have the courage
to tell you my deepest feelings
instead
when we’re together
i cover them up
with smiles
and jokes
and small talk
of inconsequential matters
 
with difficulty
i keep smiling
as you tell me about
your newest boyfriend
i control my urge
to pull you close
as you lay your hand on my arm
and tell me how
i really should find myself a nice girl
 
i have found one
the problem is
she doesn’t see me
a girl
who stars in my dreams night and day
a girl
i’d build my whole life around
a girl
who misses the
obviousness of my love
 
i can’t tell you
any of this
of course
i can’t bear the thought
that you might laugh
or
even worse
that you might feel sorry for me
because you don’t
share my feelings
 
my fear overwhelms my pain
i’m afraid
to take the chance
of losing what we have
afraid
to take the risk
you’d back away from me
away from the closeness
we now share
so i’d never get
the chance to win
 
so i watch you
from a safe distance
and i talk to you
but not of my feelings
and i go home
aching with loneliness
and beating myself up
for being a coward
as you go out
with your newest guy
 
©2009-Art Belliveau

11/10/09 senryu

a swirling maelstrom
randomly scatters my thoughts--
it’s the sight of you

©2009-Art Belliveau

11/09/09 senryu

rains are pouring down
but even in the deluge
my well is empty

©2009-Art Belliveau

11/08/09 broken promises

the sun shines down
on the cool world of morning
promising a day
fully fit for outdoor fun

never hinting in its greeting
that the dark clouds of storm
will be here soon
to make mockery of our plans

©2009-Art Belliveau

11/07/09 Treading Water

Treading water
      From before I learned to swim
      Past diving in for my first time
      Past going in over my head again and again
      In the rough waters of life
      Sometimes--often--the best I can do
      Is use the buddy system and keep
Treading Water

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/06/09

a family walk
through the cool dark fall ev'ning--
bonding together

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/05/09

always reaching out
seeking elusive connection
but you just aren't there

©2009-Art Belliveau

Failures

First time I tried, I didn't succeed,
And so, I tried once more.
I gave my all--ahead full speed!
Lost out, just like before.
Unwilling to admit defeat,
Redoubling my effort I came to the fore.
Enabled by determination, my goal I did complete,
Showing failure is often success's front door.

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/03/09

drowning in paper
the more of them i grade
the less i get done

©2009-Art Belliveau

senryu 11/02/09

wake in a panic
rush to get ready for church
to find time fell back

©2009-Art Belliveau

Snack Time

My tummy's feeling empty,
I am ready for a snack.
I look into the pantry,
Where I hide my stuff in back.

I pull out a bag of pretzels,
Some cookies and some chips.
My mouth begins to water;
There's a grin upon my lips.

I grab an apple and banana,
An orange and a pear,
Some grapes and peanut butter,
That I see sitting there.

I grab some milk to wash it down,
And then the food devour.
I have to eat quickly though,
Cause dinner's in an hour.

©2009-Art Belliveau